Seasons
by bb52
Summary: A year in the life of the youngest Gilmore girl.


**SUMMER**

Lorelai Emily Gilmore is born on a Thursday in July, an entire week early. Rory is sitting in the lobby of the Dragonfly, working on her book, when her water breaks-sending Michel into a wild panic.

The whole town hears the news and crowds around the inn, watching and cheering as Rory gingerly climbs into her mother's Jeep. Luke, too nervous to drive, rides with Lane to the hospital; she's equipped with the hospital bag and the perfect labor playlist, which she curated just for her best friend.

Thirty minutes later, they arrive at the hospital. Lorelai parks and quickly jumps out of the car. But her daughter is frozen in her seat.

For the first time since leaving Stars Hollow, Rory speaks.

"Mom, I'm scared."

"I know, kid. But I promise, it's going to be okay. You're not doing this alone. I'm going to be here, right here."

A monster of a contraction comes at that very moment and Rory finds the will she needs to head inside.

The labor is hard. All of those birthing classes, the books, the pre-natal yoga-nothing prepares her for this searing, blinding pain. She listens to her mom's voice and the songs on Lane's playlist to get her through the worst of it. She tries to visualize the life inside of her, who can longer be contained. Another contraction and another and then another and 15 hours later, while Arcade Fire's _Wake Up_ plays (for the 30th time), her little girl is born. A mop of brown hair, alabaster skin, and dimples on both cheeks. She's tiny and loud and absolutely magical.

Lorelai can barely see through the tears. But the moment she lays her eyes on her granddaughter, she knows: nothing could be better than this moment-except the one when her own child entered the world.

Friends and family appear to meet the newest Gilmore, but it is only when Emily finally arrives from Nantucket that the child's name is revealed.

Emily cries-honored and overjoyed and wishing that Richard was here to meet their great-granddaughter.

Rory worries that the three of them won't be able to agree on an everyday name for the fourth Lorelai. Shockingly, it is unanimous.

Emily holds her great-granddaughter, looks at her and whispers, "Welcome to the world, Lola."

* * *

They take Lola home 24 hours later. The crib Luke built for the baby fits perfectly in Rory's room at the Gilmore house. When Rory decided to have the baby, both Lorelai and Rory knew that there was no other place to raise this child, at least for the first year, but here.

Lorelai has learned many lessons over the years, but the one she most recently learned is this-being a grandmother is a whole new level of love. Knowing this now makes her feel remorse, for the first time in a long time, for not giving Emily and Richard the chance to show the depth of their love for her and Rory. And she is grateful that Rory is giving her and Luke (he refuses to be called Grandpa) the chance to show Lola how much she means to them.

But she respects Rory's space and authority as Lola's mother. Frankly, Lorelai can barely remember how to care for a newborn- _was Rory ever that little?-_ -so each day with Lola is filled with surprises for all of them.

The first is how the sweltering summer heat makes the baby so _angry._ On Lola's second night at home, the air conditioner breaks. Luke, as handy as he is, is unable to fix it and upon second look, the damage is extensive-they may even need a whole new system. The miserable warmth causes the baby to be sweaty and fussy and unable to sleep for more than 20 minutes at a time. Rory, exhausted and overwhelmed like any new mom, tries everything to soothe Lola, but nothing will do.

It is on the third night without air conditioning that she makes her first big decision as a mom-to swallow her pride, and call Lola's father for help.

The next day, an air conditioning service comes to the house. The new system is installed and fully paid for, thanks to Logan Huntzberger.

That night, Lola sleeps (even just for an hour and a half at a time. It's not much, but Rory will take it).

* * *

 **FALL**

Lola is huge. 99th percentile for weight and length. But it is her huge bobble head and rolls that causes a lot of laughter and commotion. She barely fits into "9 months" clothing and her adorable chubbiness gives Lorelai and Rory all sorts of ridiculous ideas about possible Halloween costumes.

" _Ghostbusters_ Marshmallow Man!"

"A sumo wrestler!

"Chris Farley in _Tommy Boy_!"

"Mom! If we do that, this kid is definitely going to have a complex."

"Too late."

Finally, they decide to dress her like a pumpkin, because really, who can resist a plump, little baby dressed as a pumpkin?

That night, they take Lola around Stars Hollow to Trick-or-Treat with Lane and her kids. It's at that moment that Rory has this realization-she and Lane are both _mothers_. They're so far from the girls sneaking lip gloss and records and whispering secrets about boys. She's grateful for Lane, and especially for Lane's sons who dote on Lola like she's their sister. She's glad that even though Lola's father isn't around much, Lola still has lots of people surrounding her with love and care.

Walking around the town, everyone stops to greet the littlest Stars Hollow resident. And Rory is reminded, for at least the 100th time since Lola was born, that staying here instead of moving to London as Logan had suggested, was absolutely, 100% the right decision.

* * *

Three weeks later, Logan arrives in Stars Hollow to spend Thanksgiving with his daughter.

Logan is a good dad-especially given the circumstances. Each time he visits, he showers Lola with gifts and love and hardly ever puts her down. He's a natural with her, seemingly perfectly attuned to his daughter's moods and needs, something Rory isn't sure she can say about herself. Her baby is four months old and Rory is still struggling a bit to adjust to the idea that she is her mom. She loves her daughter, that is not in question, but at times Rory feels a million miles away.

When Logan is here, Lola seems to be more at ease. She sleeps soundly in his embrace and smiles in reaction to the sound of his voice. When it's just Lola and Rory, Lola doesn't seem so _smiley_ or calm. This disappoints Rory, but she tries to think of it as just a phase. Otherwise, the panic in her heart that her daughter will one day prefer Logan to her and want to be with him instead will take over.

On Thanksgiving Day, Luke, Lorelai, Rory, and Logan sit for an awkward, but pleasant dinner. Logan commends Luke on his turkey; Luke replies that the craft beers Logan brought with him from London aren't terrible. The baby sleeps through it and when they're done eating, Logan invites Rory and Lola to come back to the Dragonfly with him so that they can spend a little more time together. After four days away, he has to return to London-and his wife-tomorrow. Lorelai winces at even the slightest mention of Odette, but Rory ignores her disapproval and takes the baby to the inn.

Logan and Rory sit in companionable silence as they watch their daughter sleep in a crib that Lorelai purchased and keeps there just for Lola. They are enjoying a nightcap when he breaks the quiet.

"You're doing a great job, Ace. Look at her: she's perfect."

"Thanks, although I'm not doing it by myself, you know."

Logan nods. "That may be true, but she's happy...I can tell."

"Logan, she's a baby. As long as she's fed and changed and sleeps, she's fine."

"It's more than that. I know you don't think you're doing much, other than keeping her alive, but you are. Don't sell yourself short, Ace. You're a good mom."

Rory, despite herself, starts to cry. Logan wasn't expecting this. He moves to sit next Rory on the bed and puts his arms around her.

"Oh, no. What's wrong?"

"It's so hard, Logan. And I...I dunno...I love her but sometimes I just feel like she's not connected to me, you know? Like I look at her and I think- _Is she really mine? Can I do this?_ Isn't that horrible?"

"It's not horrible. It's normal. You're a new mom. You're tired. Your body is adjusting. Hell! I didn't give birth and I am still adjusting to what all of this means. It's okay, Ace. You're doing okay. More than okay."

Before Rory can stop the words from escaping, "I wish you were here. All the time. I wish things were-"

Logan, in a solemn voice, "I know. Me, too."

They sit there for awhile, holding each other, watching their daughter sleep.

Eventually, they fall asleep, too-still tangled in one another's arms. And it's the best hour of sleep Rory's had in months.

* * *

 **WINTER**

Lola's first Christmas is a simple affair. The family heads to Nantucket and Emily has gone full great-grandma. There's lights all over the house (inside and out), a huge tree, Elf on the Shelf ("Mom, who _are_ you?" Lorelai asks), huge stockings stuffed with who knows what, and dozens of presents for Lola. They dress her in a silly little Santa outfit and Emily doesn't mind at all. They spend that morning watching the snow falling into the sea. It's a perfect first Christmas for the littlest Gilmore girl.

On New Year's Day, Rory receives an email. It's _The Atlantic_ -they want to publish an excerpt from her book. Just before Lola was born, she sent the first three chapters to an old friend there. She wanted feedback, more than anything. Jess had already read it through and given the go-ahead, but she knows that he tends to be a little biased.

 _The Atlantic_ loves it.

Unfortunately, since Lola's birth, Rory hasn't had written a word. Jess has done what he can to push her along, but she's at a standstill. There's no time, energy, or just plain quiet to get the work done. That's when she decides to call him.

"Happy New Year, Ace. How's our girl?"

"Oh, she's good. She's with my mom and Luke right now. I think they're at the New Year's Day parade in the square. This year there is an actual hot cocoa float. Like a float that dispenses hot cocoa as it goes."

"The people of Stars Hollow never cease to amaze me."

"So, I'm calling because...well, is the house in Maine still available?"

"Of course. Why?"

"I need to write and I can't do it here. I'm stuck. Maybe a change of scenery will help. _The Atlantic_ called-they want to publish an excerpt which means-"

"An excerpt from a nearly finished book. Right. Okay. Go. I'll call the groundskeeper. He will get the place ready for you and Lola."

Rory hangs up the phone and in that moment, she's never been more grateful to know Logan Huntzberger.

* * *

They arrive in Maine two days later. She's found a local nanny to help her for the week and expects her to get there shortly after they do.

The house is a smaller than she imagined-a charming and well-kept bungalow. Three bedrooms, an office, a view of the ocean. It's an ideal place for her to work.

Rory and Lola are playing on the floor of the living room when Rory hears the door open. "Meredith, we are in here!"

A voice she doesn't expect replies, "I told Meredith we didn't need her anymore."

 _Logan._

"What are you doing here?"

"Well, someone's gotta watch Lola while you get this done. And I am her father, after all."

"But what about the company or...your wife?"

"Don't worry about any of that. I'm here. Now, let's get you to work."

* * *

Rory writes a chapter that day. She's amazed at how a change of scenery makes such a difference. But it's possible, she is embarrassed to admit, that the inspiration came from something, _someone_ else.

It's 8 pm when she emerges from the study. She finds Logan sitting in a chair in front of the roaring fireplace, giving Lola a bottle and singing a lullaby. Rory's heart flutters.

She's standing there for awhile, looking at them, when Logan finally notices her.

"Hi, Ace."

"You're...you're really good at that."

Logan smiles. "I didn't know it was possible to love someone this much. Did you?"

Rory shakes her head. "No. It's pretty unbelievable, isn't it?"

She joins him by the fire, curling up in an adjacent chair.

She goes on, "It's like, your heart is going to explode at any moment, it's so full. And then she does something little, like smile or laugh and it's like...the whole world is glittering and new. I can't believe she's almost six months old. Time is going by so fast."

Logan looks doleful. "I'm missing so much. Whenever I'm with the two of you, I want time to just stop."

Rory reaches over and places her hand on his arm, "Yeah, I know exactly what you mean."

* * *

A week later, the book is done. As Rory packs up the car with the last of their belongings, Logan holds Lola close, watching the waves crash against the coast.

He wants this moment to last forever.

But it can't. Rory tells him it's time to go. Reluctantly, Logan settles Lola into her car seat and kisses her forehead. She coos and it breaks his heart.

"I can't tell you how grateful I am to you. Really. The book...I couldn't have finished it without your help."

"I watched our kid. Cooked some meals. Brought you coffee. You did the writing. That's all you. I can't take any credit for that."

"Well, keeping me caffeinated has always been extremely important to my writing process."

"Yes, I know that all too well."

"So, we will see you next month?"

Logan nods and after a beat, pulls Rory into an embrace.

Neither of them wants to be the first to let go.

* * *

 **SPRING**

Lola starts to look more like Rory every day, but she has Logan's dimpled smile and when she laughs, she is very much her father's twin.

It's May and the issue of _The Atlantic_ featuring Rory's piece will hit newsstands this month.

When the copy of the publication arrives at their house, Rory is trembling with excitement. Jess is in town and they throw a little party at The Secret Bar to celebrate.

The party and the excerpt are a huge hit.

In it, Rory shares the story of the day she told Lorelai she was going to have a baby. It wasn't the day she told her she was pregnant, but the day Rory finally decided she was choosing motherhood. Lorelai sobs when she reads it.

A couple of weeks after the magazine release, Jess and Rory finalize plans for the book launch. They are in her office at the _Gazette_ , enjoying "lunch" when Jess finally asks.

"So...the Logan chapter."

"Yeah?"

"Does he know?"

"Know what?"

"How it's going to read."

"I uhh...what do you mean?"

"Come on, Rory."

Rory pours herself another serving of lunch and takes it down in one pass. "I don't know. We'll see."

Jess, disappointed that his chapter doesn't read the same way, refills his glass, takes a sip, and sighs. "Yeah, I guess we'll see."

* * *

 **SUMMER**

The book makes it to _The New York Times_ Bestsellers list after it's first week in stores. Rory can hardly believe it; Jess isn't surprised in the slightest.

Lorelai, Luke, Rory, and Lola head to New York for Rory's appearance on _The Today Show._ Rory is nervous about being on TV-there's a reason she didn't go into broadcast journalism-but Lorelai helps her practice for the interview and reminds Rory to just pretend she's on a date with "hot Matt Lauer, circa 1999."

The interview goes well, but she is most thankful that they don't ask her about the Logan chapter. It seems to be all anyone can talk about. Except for Logan. He sent her flowers and a note of congratulations on the day of the book release, but that was two weeks ago. He hasn't been in touch since.

It's Lola's birthday in a couple of weeks and she knows he wouldn't miss that for anything. They'll have to talk then. And it's better that way; she needs time to think.

She doesn't have to wait that long, however. When they return to their hotel, Logan is in the lobby, waiting for them. She knows he's there before she even sees him, because Lola starts smiling and wriggling with excitement.

Rory hands the baby to Logan. Their daughter studies her father's face, their matching smiles a sight to behold.

Lorelai and Luke leave them, making excuses about packing and conducting a last minute shopping trip for the "I Heart New York" shirts Kirk requested.

Rory stands there, arms crossed, watching her daughter play with the slight stubble on her father's face.

He finally breaks the silence, "Can we take a walk? The park's right there."

She nods her head in agreement and they don't speak as they walk across the street to Central Park.

Lola is cooing happily in the stroller, Rory and Logan still wordlessly walking together.

To onlookers, they are the perfect little family. She hears someone say as much.

They get to the lake and that is when Logan breaks their stalemate. "I read your book. It's really, really good, Ace. Probably the best thing I've read in years."

Rory won't look at him. Instead, she trains her eyes on the water. "You have to say that. You're holding our daughter. You don't want to give me a negative book review while you're holding her. She'll pick up on the bad vibes."

"No, it's not that. It's not _just_ good. The writing, the story-it's honest and real and true. You should be proud."

She lets herself smile a little. "Well, thanks."

The silence resumes. Rory hears children laughing and the sounds of horses and carriages and birds cawing. She still refuses to look at Logan, scared of what she might see in his eyes.

He must sense this because the next thing she feels is his left hand on her cheek, turning her face towards his.

He looks straight into her eyes, and says, "Rory, I still love you, too."

She closes her eyes and leans her cheek into his hand. She expects to feel the cool sensation of his wedding ring against her face. But she doesn't. She puts her hand over his and feels for it-it's not there.

Rory eyes open to see Logan smiling tentatively at her as she realizes what this might mean.

"I don't want to keep living without you and Lola. I can't. I wasn't sure if you still wanted me. I thought there were signs, but I didn't want to believe them. I couldn't _let_ myself believe them. Odette. My parents. My responsibilities. They were blinding me. But then I read your book. And I got the answer I was looking for."

"Logan, what are you saying?"

"I'm saying, I'm doing what I should have done two years ago. I'm saying, Odette and I are getting a divorce. I'm saying, I want to be with you and Lola. What do you say, Ace?"

Rory smiles at Logan through the tears.

* * *

It's Lola's first birthday. The party is held in the town square, as it seems all big events in the lives of the Gilmore family must be. It's just after the Fourth of July-there are red, white, and blue streamers, and sparklers galore.

The party goes on well after the sun goes down. As Lola and Rory sit on the steps of the gazebo, watching those dearest to them enjoy a perfect summer night, she begins telling her daughter the story of how she came to be. _It starts with a baby and her mom, just 17 years old, stepping off the bus, at that stop right there_. Lola watches and listens to her mother's words, captivated, even though she is not fully able to comprehend their meaning.

But Rory's story is interrupted when Lola starts pointing at a figure in front of her. Rory plants a kiss on her daughter's little head; both smile when they see him approach.

"There you are. We thought you got lost in that heap of streamers. She's been waiting for you."

The baby reaches for her father. He sits next to Rory and takes Lola into his lap, presses her closer to his heart.

"Can you believe that it's been a year since you were born? Since you made the world brighter and bigger and whole? Can you believe how lucky we are? To be your mom and dad, to get to hold you, keep you safe, and love you?" he says to his little girl. Lola laughs and shakes her head as if to say _No, Dad, I can't._

Rory and Logan look at each other and laugh, too. She takes his hand, intertwines her fingers with his.

They can't believe it either.


End file.
